Why I Changed My Mind About Women Pastors

My unexpected journey from egalitarian to complementarian and how that all took place

This post is one I have thought about potentially writing for almost as long as I have been writing this Substack, but I was too nervous for most of that time, given that it is such a contentious and controversial topic. As I have never before publicly stated what I believe about women pastors, I would guess that my audience is pretty evenly split between the two positions, and I know that some of my most frequent readers disagree with me on this, so I do not know how well this is going to go over! However, I have decided to speak up about this because I have opinions I want to share, and I think my perspective may be valuable to someone wrestling with what they believe. Also, please note that when I say “egalitarian,” I mean the position that there is no role differentiation between men and women, whereas the “complementarian” position holds that there is a difference in roles for men and women, though to what extent is debated.

Egalitarian beliefs in my childhood and adolescence

When I was growing up, my family never discussed the topic of female pastors. I was completely unfamiliar with the terms “egalitarian” and “complementarian,” knowing nothing about that debate. It might seem pretty weird to some, especially to those coming from an American evangelical or Southern Baptist type background, that my parents, who raised my sister and me with traditional conservative stances on a wide number of topics, including very hotly debated things, never discussed this with us, but the denomination I was raised in (CBWC) has ordained female pastors since 1959.¹ While all the pastors I knew of were men, I never thought there was anything wrong with a woman being a pastor. As a girl of the twenty-first century who believed firmly in gender equality, I was completely opposed to restricting a certain job to men only. That was clearly sexist and just plain wrong, in my opinion.

I had heard that there were some people out there who were opposed to female pastors, but I had an incredibly skewed notion of what these people were like. In my mind, they were all just a bunch of grumpy old white men who thought women were intellectually deficient. While I had read the entire Bible by the time I was sixteen, I had always held the belief that the passages restricting women’s roles were only applicable in the cultural context in which they were written and were not intended to prevent women from ever being pastors. It was never that I wanted to be a pastor, as being a pastor’s daughter had taught me a lot about the ugly side of taking on that role, but it just seemed so unfair to hold the position that only men, and not women, could serve as pastors. Surely, the men who have such beliefs must want to control and subjugate women, I thought.

So, I took my egalitarianism with me when I went to Bible college at age seventeen, still believing the absurd caricature of complementarianism I had absorbed from my cultural context and surroundings. During one class in my first semester, a professor mentioned that the issue of female pastors was the biggest debate when he was studying at Bible college twenty-some years ago, much to my amusement. The thought that Christians two decades ago were divided over whether women could be pastors simply sounded so absurd!

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Realizing my misconceptions about complementarianism

Not long after that, I was sitting at a table eating lunch with a group of other students when one of them mentioned that he did not believe women should be pastors. Now, this was utterly shocking to me. I kid you not when I say I had a hard time believing my ears! While the student who had spoken was both white and male, he did not fit my narrow idea of what complementarians were like. He did not at all strike me as the sort of man who wanted to control and subjugate women; rather, he seemed like a completely well-intentioned individual. But how could a genuinely kind person hold such a sexist view?

My shock and confusion regarding this event led me to do some online research to see what others said about the possibility of women serving as pastors. I found a variety of sources on both sides and realized that maybe, complementarianism was not the horrible women-hating ideology I had always thought it to be. It was still bad and wrong, of course, just not quite as bad as I used to think it was.

Taking a class on the pastoral epistles

For my second semester of my first year of Bible college, I registered in a class covering 1 and 2 Timothy and Titus, sometimes called the “pastoral epistles.” While there were a few reasons I decided to take this class, a big one was that I was curious about the infamous 1 Timothy 2 passage and how it should be interpreted. Both the textbook we used and the professor took a complementarian approach, much to my disappointment. But again, the professor was a nice guy, and not at all someone who seemed like a sexist jerk.

Photo by MChe Lee on Unsplash

I listened respectfully in class, never mentioning my opinions, and it was a class I enjoyed taking, despite my disagreements. The professor did a good job of explaining the different positions and why he thought women should not be pastors, though it was not enough to convince me.

Diving deeper into this debate

While I was still taking that class, the well-known Christian YouTuber Mike Winger began doing a “Women in Ministry” series in which he went through all the Bible passages related to this topic and defended a complementarian position. I was already subscribed to his channel, so I watched each of the videos shortly after they were posted, and bit by bit, his insights helped shift my perspective. Not only that, but I found out that several other Christian YouTubers and bloggers whose work I appreciated were also complementarian. Instead of seeing those who opposed female pastors as hateful, I realized that the vast majority of these people legitimately believe that this is what the Bible teaches and have good evidence to back up their claims.

Mike Winger, as pictured on his website

Throughout the nearly two years that this video series was ongoing, I looked at information and arguments from both sides, wanting to get a better understanding of these issues. At first, I was still firmly egalitarian in my positions, but more and more, I began to see the mental gymnastics that egalitarian scholars do to argue their points. It was also notable to me that for the central passages in this debate, there was often one main complementarian interpretation, whereas egalitarian scholars seemed to be a lot more divided regarding how they interpreted the passages. While this does not prove the egalitarian interpretations to be wrong, it was another piece of evidence that pushed me more in the direction of complementarianism, as it slowly dawned on me that complementarian scholars seemed to take the more straightforward and common-sense interpretation, whereas egalitarian scholars seemed to be forcing an interpretation on the text to get their desired result.

How I changed my mind

Finally, in November 2023, the very same month I started this Substack, Mike Winger posted his second-last video in the Women in Ministry series, which covered the whole 1 Timothy 2 passage and was eleven and a half hours long. Because I am an insane weirdo, I watched the entire thing (on double speed, of course) and became convinced that the complementarian side offered the best reading of those verses.

Still, I was hesitant to accept the label “complementarian” or admit to believing that the whole idea of women pastors was unbiblical. I did not ever, under any circumstances, want to become a complementarian, because such beliefs went against my long-held values, but “that which I greatly feared had at last come upon me.”² Simply put, I could not magically make those verses of the Bible disappear, and because I strongly believed the Bible to be infallible and authoritative, I came to admit that complementarianism made more sense of the biblical evidence than egalitarianism. You could even say I was “the most dejected and reluctant convert” to complementarianism, but thankfully, that is not the end of the story!

After becoming complementarian

Since I came to believe that having a woman serve as a pastor of a church is unbiblical, I have only become more confident in this position. This is not because I have become some kind of woman-hating internet troll (I promise that is not the case!), but rather because I am firmly convinced this is what the Bible teaches and that it aligns with the practices of the early church.

And weirdly enough, I am actually happier in my current position than I ever was as an egalitarian. I used to get pretty triggered whenever someone would say “women should not be pastors,” as I thought that was a very offensive thing to say, but now I am one of the people who says the very thing I used to object to! Obviously, I am not saying you should “do whatever makes you happy,” as I reject such absurdities, but since changing my position, I feel as though I have become a more gracious, and dare I say, tolerant, person. Yes, I realize that what I believe in this matter is very unpopular in the current cultural landscape, but I have gained a sense of peace in knowing that my beliefs line up with what I, fairly confidently, believe to be the most faithful interpretations of the Bible.

What I believe now

While I do believe that the biblical office of pastor or elder is reserved for men (1 Timothy 3:1-7), this does not mean I am opposed to women having other roles in the church. For example, I am convinced that the verse about “deacons’ wives” (1 Timothy 3:11) is actually about deaconesses, as the Greek word often translated as “wives” there can also mean “women,” and I think Phoebe (Romans 16:1) is a biblical example of a female deacon. Furthermore, I am not at all opposed to women being theology professors or speaking in church (such as reading Scripture, praying, or even giving a guest sermon on occasion), as the Bible is clear that there are many things women are permitted to do.

None of this means I think women are somehow intellectually inferior to men and should all cosplay as 1950s housewives who are unable to work outside the home (I find that idea extremely revolting, tbh). Rather, I believe that God has specifically designed the role of a pastor to be for qualified men only. And yes, I reject silly notions seen in extremist online posts that say things like “all women pastors are heretical/woke/preaching a false gospel/etc.” If you want to learn more about what I think and why, Jordan B. Cooper has an excellent video entitled “Can Women Be Pastors? A Discussion of Women in Ministry” that addresses a lot of the key passages, which I would recommend watching.

Concluding thoughts

This post is not meant to be a defence of complementarianism, as numerous other people can do a much better job of it than I can; rather, it is the story of my journey from one position to another, and how I came to change my mind. Most of the stories of someone changing their mind on women pastors that I have come across go in the other direction, of a former complementarian becoming egalitarian, so I wanted to share my story as an example of the other side.

I totally understand why someone would disagree with the positions I have laid out here and even find them offensive; my seventeen-year-old self would be one of those people, lol! There are many egalitarians I respect and admire, including some female pastors, so please know that I am not here to personally attack anyone who disagrees with me. I even currently attend a church that has a woman pastor, and she is a very friendly person who has been incredibly welcoming of me since I first showed up at the church.³ That being said, I do think this is an issue of some importance, and I would advise anyone who has been egalitarian their whole life to do some study and research on what the Bible says and does not say about women in ministry, instead of just absorbing what the culture says as I did for so long.

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If you enjoyed this and want to read another post I wrote about something else I changed my mind on, you might like the one linked below.

Why I No Longer Believe in the Idea of a Literal Biblical Chronology

1. “CBWC” refers to the Canadian Baptists of Western Canada.

2. Idk how many of my posts now have a C.S. Lewis quote in them, but the guy just said so many profound things that I cannot help myself from inserting a bunch of his quotes into my writing.

3. I know some people might think it is hypocritical of me to attend a church with a female pastor while being complementarian, but I want to make it very clear that I do not think having a woman as a pastor makes something a false church. I think that women’s ordination is valid, but improper, and I would much rather be a part of a church with an orthodox female pastor than a heretical male pastor. No church is perfect, and some issues are bigger than others.