10 Terms and Phrases About Autism and Neurodiversity I Dislike

Some things people say about autism and neurodiversity annoy me, so here's why

With neurodiversity becoming more and more well-known, there are a lot of terms and phrases people use to refer to things in the realm of neurodiversity, and autism specifically. Being autistic myself, I have opinions on these things and while I have no problem with most of the terminology on neurodiversity used, there are some things people say about these topics that I take issue with. Obviously, I do not claim to speak for all autistic people and another autistic or otherwise neurodivergent person out there might like some of these terms and phrases. While some of these are ableist and offensive, others are more of a matter of preference and do not have much, if anything wrong with them.

“Person with autism/a disability”

These are examples of person-first language, as “person” comes before the identity or label. While some others disagree, most autistic people prefer identity-first language such as “autistic person” or “disabled person” instead of “person with autism” or “person with a disability.” Yes, I have autism which is a disability but that cannot be separated from who I am. There is no alternate universe in which I am allistic while still being me. As such, I would rather someone use identity-first language.

“On the spectrum”

This is a fairly common phrase that derives from the concept of the autism spectrum. The official diagnosis is called “autism spectrum disorder” or ASD for short, and I do agree that autism is a spectrum. People generally think this refers to a linear spectrum ranging from “extremely autistic” to “barely autistic” but this is false; the autism spectrum is better conceived of as a colour wheel containing a spectrum of various autistic traits.

As for the phrase “on the spectrum,” I do not think it is bad to use and there are many autistic people who like it. I would say I only have a problem with the phrase when it becomes euphemistic as a way to avoid saying the word “autistic.” Being autistic is not a bad thing and “autism” or “autistic” are not bad words so it tends to annoy me when someone always uses “on the spectrum” to the exclusion of other terminology.

“Autism is a superpower”

Honestly, this phrase makes me want to slam my head into a wall. I understand that it comes from good intentions but to me, this phrase just screams out-of-touch neurotypical person who has not the slightest idea what it is like to be autistic and is trying too hard to virtue signal their support while instead perpetuating harmful myths. No, autism is NOT a superpower. Certainly, autistic people have unique strengths that allistic people may not such as our ability to focus very intently on a particular project, remember specific details, or in some cases, learn to read at a younger-than-average age (hyperlexia).

But this saying completely looks over and even minimizes our struggles! In addition to our unique strengths, autistic people have many unique challenges that hinder our ability to build relationships and manage the demands of life. It IS a disability and being autistic does not make someone a superhero, rather, it makes a lot of things harder. Little things that neurotypicals probably never think twice about such as the flashing lights on a police car, eye contact, or interpreting sarcasm can be a big deal for autistic people.

“You don’t look autistic/disabled”

This statement rests on the false assumption that there is a specific way to look autistic or disabled. You cannot tell whether or not someone is autistic simply by observing their physical appearance. Likewise, there are many different ways in which one can be disabled and not all of these are visible. Invisible disabilities are just as real as visible ones, and just because someone does not use a wheelchair, cane, or service dog does not mean they are not disabled.

“High/low functioning”

Functioning labels have largely fallen out of use by now, something I am thankful for. The truth is, labels like these do more harm than good. Calling someone “high functioning” overlooks their challenges and may put too much pressure on that person to perform at a certain level, leading to feelings of stress and incompetence. On the other hand, calling someone “low functioning” does not take into account the areas in which that person excels and may make them feel as though they will never amount to anything since people only see them for their deficiencies. Instead, I and many other autistic people prefer the terminology of support levels; instead of measuring the perceived abilities of autistic people, they measure the amount of support that person requires to reach their full potential. Still, this system is not perfect as it is only divided into three support levels (requiring support, requiring substantial support, and requiring very substantial support) and the amount of support an individual requires can change over time.

“Parenting a neurodivergent child is a hardship”

I legitimately hate it when people say things like this. Now, I do not know what it is like to be a parent, but I can imagine it is not easy. Parenting a neurodivergent child is probably even harder than parenting a neurotypical one and it is fine to discuss the differences between the two. However, I have a massive problem with calling it a “hardship” or saying something along the lines of it being “one of the hardest things for a parent to experience.” Language like this is very offensive to neurodivergent people.

Hearing phrases like this makes us feel guilty simply for existing. It enforces the idea in our minds that we are a burden to those around us and that our parents’ lives would be better if we had never existed. So, please, do not say things of this nature. Children are a uniquely precious gift from God regardless of the way their brain works and they should be treated as such instead of as an inconvenience.

“Differently abled”

This is a euphemism for “disabled” that is considered offensive and is not used much anymore. Usage of the term implies that there is something wrong with being disabled and it is one of those things that tries too hard to be nice that it ends up overlooking or even erasing the challenges of being disabled. In my opinion, saying “differently abled” is ultimate cringe as it could technically be applied to anyone because everyone has different abilities! “Disabled” is not a dirty word and treating it like it is by making up nonsense terms is downright insulting to actual disabled people.

“A touch of the ‘tism”

I had never heard of this phrase until pretty recently but in doing some research I found that it became popular on TikTok in 2022 and is used to describe autistic people by saying “he/she/so-and-so/etc. has a touch of the ‘tism.” This is problematic in two respects; first, it implies that someone can be “a little bit autistic,” and second, it is an example of person-first language, which I discussed the issues with in the first point. Someone is either autistic or they are not; there is no in-between or being only a little autistic.

Again, it is a euphemism that treats “autism” and “autistic” as words that should be avoided, implying that there is something wrong, or at least unfavourable, with being autistic. Because of its heavy association with the platform TikTok, one that I do not have a positive opinion of to put it mildly, it just seems like some dumb internet trend. Furthermore, it seems to me like this phrase is generally used in humorous or joking ways which may make people view autism as some sort of funny quirk instead of taking it seriously.

“Can’t you be more normal?”

Please do not say this to a neurodivergent person! Our brains work in ways that differ from the majority neurotype, so no, we cannot just “be normal.” Autistic and otherwise neurodivergent people can pretend to be normal, some better than others. A neurodivergent person may observe the behaviour of those around them and then mimic those behaviours. This is known as “masking” and while it makes us stand out less, it is also incredibly draining to do. Additionally, it means that someone is presenting a false version of themself to the world to seem more socially acceptable which feels very isolating because nobody knows them for who they truly are.

Saying something along these lines is just plain hurtful. Why should we prize conformance to the norm when God made each person differently? I am a weird person, but I like being that way and you should embrace your inner weirdness too.

“Neurospicy”

This word is another word for “neurodivergent” and is often used online in a casual or funny way. I, however, dislike it as it makes neurodiversity sound like a silly internet trend. Using slang terms for neurodiversity will always be something I dislike as it presents neurodiversity as something to joke about. Additionally, I do not consider myself one bit “spicy” and this term is so cringe-worthy to me.

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And that is the list! I am not telling other people that they can never use these words or phrases as I believe strongly in free speech but I do not use them myself for the reasons I presented here. Feel free to disagree and thanks all for reading.